Today is Veterans Day

Forgive me if I find it hard to distinguish the people that are truely thankful on Veterans Day because freedom isnt free and that someone else would serve in their place.

Many of you know I spent 6 years in the Navy, between 1975-1981, serving on board a nuclear submarine in a job that involved launching nuclear ballistic missles if my Goverment deemed it necessary during the Cold War.  I know I would have done what was necessary then, even if millions would die.

The Vietnam war ended months after I volunteered to serve. I didn't serve in Vietnam. I'm a Vietnam War era vet but not a Vietnam vet. I didn't get the full vengeance of wrath of anger that many people gave the Vietnam veterans. But i was spat on, and cursed at while in uniform. I was instructed not to wear my country's uniform for my own safety. I wasn't allowed to be proud of my service.

As a Cold War veteran I didn't get any of the accolades that the gulf war veterans got. Although I went on 9 War patrols over 4 years, ready to end the world in 11 minutes by launching a retaliatory strike if our country was attacked. There was no prime time coverage of this war. The military then was a necessity that could be ignored. 

I recently read how the current goverment believes veterans, including me, are a threat to this nation as potential terrorist. Now the current government has vilified veterans as potential terrorists. 

I've been reflecting on the past as well as present and the resentment grows.

My wife jabs me in the ribs to get me to stand when all veterans are asked to. She knows I deserve it, although I am embarrassed by it. So I stand to let those civilians that didn't serve applaud; those that may feel guilty of their past actions or lack of action relieve themselves of guilt, or those civilians that may really realize that freedom isnt free recognize for a moment that someone had to serve.  

I ride my Subvet float in local parades and wear my silent service ball cap, not because I want your applause. I do it to look in the crowds for other subvets that may need need a shoulder to lean on. I look for a distant brother that knows what I went through, the separation that I felt and the losses that I had. They may need me, but I need those brothers also.

I didn't get any special War ribbons nor do I want one. Although I resent that our government didn't think my life was worth one. I didn't want the Vietnam wrath then nor your accolades now. But I got both. 

Perhaps I get embarrassed by your accolades because my time in the service wasn't driven by a patriotic desire. I volunteered to better myself and have a future I couldn't otherwise afford. I did my time, used my government VA benefits for school, and succeeded in life. I should be thanking you, for giving me the opportunity to succeed.